Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Thank you for not boning my boss.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
