I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
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