I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
you inspire me to be a worse person
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
