just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
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