I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
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