I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Randomize
