My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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