I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
