if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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