We won't sleep together?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
