In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Randomize
