And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
