I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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