Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
