Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
