i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
