White coat. Heels.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
