its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
