You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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