I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
