Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(253): View more from Washington

Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.

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(303): View more from Colorado

i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass

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(612): View more from Minnesota

I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.

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(313): View more from Michigan

he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"

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(704): View more from North Carolina

I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism

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(503): View more from Oregon

Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?

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(850): View more from Florida

Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work

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(928): View more from Arizona

Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.

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