you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
