I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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