How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
