I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize