like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize