The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
