Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
