You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Randomize
