Plan B is the new Plan A
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
