Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
