he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
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