I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
