just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
