if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
