dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
