I faked an abortion last night.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
