would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
