so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize