so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
