I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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