Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
