question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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