Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
