how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
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