turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
