Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
