i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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