this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize