I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
