So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
