Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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