omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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