WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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