He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Someone shattered a urinal.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
