An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
